Another Meeting

Another meeting —
An important one
Like so many that came and went
A moment in time
Arranged —
Imagined, anticipated —
Days, weeks, months — even years in the making

Some words appear — pretending to be an invitation
A gesture, a formality
And a meeting —
Is set —
Nowhere real, nowhere visible
A mark in a box on a calendar
Just a scribble on paper

Like a notch on a tree, a signpost —
Pointing towards something
And then: that place
That time
That supposed meaning —
Arrives —
No different from the day it was planned
No different from this place

This meeting —
Set long ago —
Now it’s here
Soon —
It’ll be gone

And something might change after the meeting —
A yes or a no —
This path — or another
Prison or release
Home or away
More — or less
More meetings — or no more
More dates — or none

Is this the final meeting
Or just one of many
But how could I know —
Whether tomorrow will come
Or if today is even real

It’s not a date
Not a real day
Just a symbol, a line on paper
A number on a counter
Just the clock ticking

And something is happening —
Seeing and hearing
But isn’t a meeting
Just that
Seeing and hearing

Still — you prepare
You hope it goes well
You wish to show your best
To behave just right

But you can’t know how you’ll be
Or how anyone else will be
So what, really, can be planned

You try to imagine questions
Refresh your memory for answers
You write, rehearse —
But how can you write thoughts
That haven’t yet happened
That will only arise
In the moment

How can I bring to mind thoughts
From the future —
Or even from the past

I can’t recall what happened twenty years ago
I can’t think thoughts I’ve never lived
Thoughts that aren’t mine
Don’t arrive on command

So how does one prepare
When there’s no one to prepare
Only thought —
Uninvited, unbidden —
Arriving
And then gone

The meeting, then —
Whether the first or last —
What else is there to do
But be oneself

But is there
Any other way to be

Can I choose to be something else
Someone else —
With their thoughts
Stories, experiences
Points of views

I can only be this
Whatever this is
And not even that —
I can’t only be this
I already am
With no choice
To be otherwise

No one to act
No thoughts to summon or manage
No day to come
No date to pass
No choice —
But to be
Whatever I am

So what’s left then —
About the meeting —
Another rising —
Seeing, hearing, speaking —
And then
Gone

What comes after
I can never know —
Who’d be there to know
If nothing comes

And who is there to know —
When there’s something
Right now —
Other than
Just thought —

Which, too —
Knows nothing
Yet
Spills out —
Unmediated —
Unobstructed —
In response —
To whatever is heard and seen
And however it’s processed

The meeting ends
Anticipation, preparation
Thoughts and all imaginations
About the meeting —
End with it

Like they never were
And emptied of all that
You wait
For the next thing
To draw —
To pull out —
Attention