The Industry

Am I allowed
To be intolerant, childish, adolescent —
Immature, petulant
Lazy, self-absorbed
Pathetic, crude, hostile
Spiteful, cruel

Self-destructive, ignorant
Deluded, inconsistent
Insecure, anxious
Reactive, indiscriminate
Frightened, cowardly
Narcissistic, self-justifying —

Am I allowed to
Self-flagellate, undermine myself
Intellectualise, rationalise
Deceive myself, be blind
Comatose, asleep —

Or do I need to sort my head out
Fix myself —
Before I’m good enough
Before I’m let out
Allowed to be around people

Can I have crappy relationships
Bad habits, compulsions
Addictions, vices, weaknesses

Is it my mental health
That’s messed up
My psyche broken
By trauma and depression

Do I need to see a counsellor, therapist
An assessment, an appointment —
A specialist, industry expert —
To fix my shit

Do I need medications, rehab —
Or to be locked up
For everything to be put back together
Properly

But what if none of it works
And I’m still as I am
Could I ever — be good —
As I am