Fuck The Dependable

Fuck all the metaphors
The clichés
Fuck them all

What’s there
What can one depend on —
What can be depended on

No friend
No well-wisher
No mother or father
No wife or lover
No son or daughter
No brother or sister

Who can be depended on
What can be depended on
That’s what I want to know

And that is precisely the problem
There is something that is scared —
That wants to hold on to something

A lasting anchor
A steady ground
A truth that won’t break

But the very thing that is scared
That is seeking the dependable —
Is non-existent

The dependable
That which is seeking the dependable —
Isn’t there

That which is in search of the dependable —
Is fictitious
The character in the movie
Is in search of something dependable

But the character is the problem
As long as there is character —
There is search

Who am I then
I cannot possibly be
All the opinions I seek
Of others —
All the judgements
That others have placed on me

Where can those judgements be placed
Where can those opinions be held

On fictional stage of mind —
Made with wisps of thoughts

Life appears
Sees itself
In its own light —

And then what
Does it vanish
In that same light

I can never find out
Who or what or where I am

Why the fuck must I find it out
Who or what in me wishes to
From where did I get all these ideas

What the fuck

Nonduality —
Fuck nonduality

Damn the Second
The First and the Third
And the Sixth and Last
And the Seventh —
Damn them all

Fuck all of these teachers
And gurus
And their words and teachings

Fuck them all

What words do I have
Once all the words
Have been purged out of my system

Purge it all